My mind is warped

For years I've known I'm kinda weird. My mind wanders sometimes and I have stray thoughts that are - shall we say, warped. Many of my long-term friends, who send me incredible e-mail jokes realize this as they fall into the same category as I - deranged - which is why they send me such crazy, over the top, e-mail jokes and downloads. I, of course feel compelled to send them on to other friends, which continues the aura of my wackiness.

In any case, though I CAN be quite serious, I thought I'd let some of these offbeat meanderings spew forth on occasion. Here's just a couple to whet your appetite (or drive you away for good):

1. DEATH of a legend. Not a whole lot of coverage during the past week for the sudden passing of a legend. Marilyn Chambers, movie star of such classic films as Behind the Green Door; Insatiable; and Inside Marilyn Chambers was found dead last week in her California home. Cause of death has not been determined as of yet. I can't help but wonder if Miss Chambers, 56, died as a result of being accosted with a hot poker, or was in need of the Heimlich Maneuver due to choking. Just a thought.

2. My dog. Yesterday, I accompanied my aged Golden Retriever outdoors while she....uh....did her business. Specifically, number 2. Now I know that this is something that people don't discuss in polite company, but it just goes to prove that my thoughts are goofy, as I've wondered this for many years - with the myriad dogs that I've had - snd the umpteen million observations I've witnessed of said dogs defecating. Anywho, so my dog goes into the yard and squats. She then looks over at me, all downcast and squeamish looking. My question is this: Are dogs embarrassed when they take a dump and their humans are watching them? Please comment if you will - no real scientific poll here, I'm just kinda curious as to how other dog owners perceive "that look".

I'll, from time to time, let you inside the warped side of my brain.

Old Fart Mike