Same time last year

Last year at this time I had just arrived in my home state. The plan was to spend a few days with my brother John & his wife Joanne, see other family members, and then go, with my best friend, to Laughlin, NV to begin planning our next high school reunion. The trip was supposed to be a fun, leisurely one spent among family and friends.

Instead, it turned into one of the most gut-wrenching trips I've ever experienced.It started off fine. I arrived at my brother's home and all the relatives came to visit. We had wonderful caring moments, as a close family does. In the meantime, I called my friend and touched base with him. But he told me he wasn't feeling well that first day. I shrugged it off, thinking maybe he had come down with a bug.

The next day, I called him again. This time I grew more concerned, because he told me he was really having trouble and would be going to see the doctor. I asked him if he wanted me to come take him. He said no, for me to spend the time with my family, as he and I would be together in a couple days. I went on and did my thing, but called him that evening. He told me he had spent the day at the hospital, but they had released him. As I prodded him on what the doctors had said, he was somewhat vague, but said he was having difficulty getting up out of his chair and was unsteady on his feet. He also indicated that they had taken some tests on his heart but everything checked out okay.

The next morning, February 26, 2008,increasingly concerned, I called him again to inquire as to how he was feeling. He told me he felt awful and really couldn't get up out of his chair and walk. I replied that I'd head over to his house as soon as I took a shower. He said, emphatically NO. He further said that his daughter was there and if he wasn't feeling any better in a little while he'd call his wife at work and have her take him back to the doctor. I pressed and he said, I think I just have the flu or something, but I might not be able to make the trip to Laughlin with you.

I went on about my business, which wasn't much, and tried to call him at about 2 PM that afternoon. There was no answer at his home, so I left a message, and then tried his cell phone. Same deal, so left a message there too. I knew he must be at the doctor or something.

At about 3 pm, his wife called me, using his cell phone. She said they had rushed him to the hospital via ambulance, as he absolutely could not get up out of his chair and was very sick. She said the doctors were working with him now and would call me once she knew more, but she really thought he had the flu that had been going around. I asked her If she'd like me to come sit with her. She said no, her daughter was with her.

At approximately 6:20 that night, she called me again. When I asked her "How's my buddy doin'?" She answered with, "He died, Mike". My best friend - a guy who I hardly knew in high school, but who in the last five or so years I had come to know and love like a brother had died. It was all I could do to even respond with more than the word NO. My brother and sister in law looked over at me, I know. And I also know that as she gave me the scarcest of details, the tears were rolling down my cheeks.

This man and I planned our class' reunions together and bonded over the past years like crazy. He visited me here in Oklahoma. Met all my kids. I stayed in his home in California. We spoke virtually everyday, taking advantage of the computer and Instant messaging. We laughed so much together it wasn't even funny. And cried together too, as we shared deeply personal thoughts with one another.

We had pledged to each other that whomever survived would speak at the others funeral service, but secretly we had thought he'd be speaking at mine because of the health problems I've had. Never did I think I'd be speaking at his. I did though. I read a letter that I had written to him on the occasion of his 60th birthday telling him how much he, and his friendship meant to me. I amended it a bit, changing tenses and the like, and somehow, I got through it in a packed church full of the many family and friends who loved him.

I am now heading out to do the unfinished business we started a year ago - begin planning our next class reunion - I will see my family, his widow, some of his children, and several of his friends. I'll also stop by and see him at his final resting place and tell him how much I miss our daily conversations, our absolute silliness, our sharing of deep personal thoughts, and the incredible friendship we made.

Old Fart Mike